The art of flirting can be difficult to navigate. We’ve all been there. It’s even more perplexing if you happen to be attracted to queer and femme folk. Oddly enough, not all queer women and non-binary folks walk around wearing plaid shirts and rainbow badges.
It’s not easy to discern if a woman likes you because you don’t exhibit any of the stereotypical male mating behaviors. Moreover, women take on various roles. You could be looking right at a femme person and assume they’re straight since you don’t realize they’re from the community.
So, how do you determine if they’re flirting or just being nice? Read on to find out.
They love texting you
If someone has a crush on you, they’ll want to get to know you better. If you start getting texts like “It was great to see you again. I really look forward to seeing you again “, you can take that as a hint. Of course, you should also leave room for the possibility of a close, platonic bond. But if the texts cross a certain line (trust us, you’ll know), there are greater feelings at play.
Did she make you a playlist featuring only Hayley Kiyoko and girl in red? How about some poetry by Adrienne Rich? Subtle gestures say a lot about a person’s level of interest. A clear indicator that a girl is into you is if she’s antisocial but invites you to a social event. Bonus points if the event is LGBT-themed or visibly queer. She probably wants to enjoy a community event but not alone. You definitely hold a special place in her heart.
They initiate physical proximity
Leaning in, getting physically close, and other non-verbal cues all play a significant role in flirting. A subtle touch can be anything from a gentle hand on your arm to leaning in your direction or resting their head on your shoulder. This is usually what happens when someone enjoys your presence and wants to get closer to you — especially if their love language is physical touch. If someone has a crush on you, you might also notice them licking their lips or staring at your smile.
They love complimenting you
You can tell she likes you if she showers you with compliments. Compliments such as “you have gorgeous eyes” or “your laugh is adorable” are typical of a flirtatious exchange. However, if she compliments your outfit, jewelry, or accessories, she’s probably just being friendly. Also think about whether her behavior is exclusive to you or if she’s just naturally outgoing and flirtatious with everyone.
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