Finding someone you want to be in a committed relationship with is hardly ever simple. You can be attracted to someone and even love them, and yet, being with them isn’t always the best idea.
If you’ve had an unsuccessful run in picking partners, this is what you need to do.
Give People a Chance
Finding the right partner is all about giving people chances and making the effort to get to know them. Your perfect partner won’t appear out of thin air. You need to make an effort to test the waters and give people a chance; even the ones who aren’t your “type”.
Many people make the mistake of ruling out potential romantic interests because they don’t adhere to their preconceived notions of what their ideal partner should be like. Maybe you’ve only dated people who had certain attributes in common. Don’t make that the benchmark though, and refrain from categorizing every person your meet as either “my type” or “not my type”. Attraction can grow over time, only if you give it a chance. If you instantly rule out dating people who fall into the latter category, you’re missing out big time.
Look for Qualities Needed for a Good Partnership
It’s great if the person you’re romantically interested in has a killer sense of humor, is fun at parties, and loves to travel just like you do, but those aren’t exactly the things you should be looking for when determining if they’re a good match for you. In fact, these are all secondary characteristics for making this decision.
What really matters are the qualities that will help you two build a strong relationship. Kindness, empathy, loyalty, honesty, integrity, reliability, emotional stability; these are the things you should be really looking for. If you find someone possessing most of these attributes, they’re worth pursuing even if they are shy, prefer staying at home instead of going to parties, and loathe traveling.
Don’t Assume You Can Change Someone
Finally, don’t make the mistake of assuming you can change someone and help them give up certain undesirable habits. Be clear from the get go about what your deal-breakers are, and don’t head into the dating world thinking you can magically make someone give up their lifestyle or change themselves for you a few months down the road.
Doing this is just setting your relationship up for a disaster that could’ve been prevented. It’s like the saying goes: when people show you who they are, believe them.