The first month of dating someone is critical. You’re still getting to know the person you’re seeing and trying to determine whether you both should take things forward. This also means that you need to ask some serious questions that can help you with your decision.
Here are a few things to ask the person you’re dating in the first month.
Why Did Your Last Relationships End?
It may seem like an uncomfortable and maybe even an unpleasant subject, but at some point, you do need to bring up your previous relationships. This doesn’t mean you ask them to give you a lengthy account of every single relationship they’ve ever had, but asking them about their last relationship and why it ended is important.
For one, it gives you a better insight of the kind of person they are when it comes to relationships. Notice how they talk about the relationship and their previous partner. Do they sound bitter? Are they calling their ex names and putting all the blame on them? Do they sound like they still haven’t moved on or aren’t ready for a new relationship?
Don’t bombard them with questions about their ex, but do ask them what went wrong and how they feel currently about that relationship.
What’s Your Stance on Commitment?
A lot of people aren’t looking for anything serious when they start dating someone new. They just want to have a good time and let things flow naturally. On the other hand, some people intend to be in a committed relationship with the person they’re dating.
After a few days or weeks of spending time together, it’s best to get this question out in the open. You need to make sure their views align with yours, and asking this question early on can save both of you a potential heartache.
Ask them how they feel about being in a committed, long-term relationship. Does the idea of exclusively dating one person bother them? Have they been in serious relationships before? If long-term exclusivity is what you’re looking for, you deserve to know their stance in the first month.
What Are Some Of Your Goals?
This is a rather broad question, but asking this can help you determine if the person you’re dating is someone you can imagine a future with. If their goals are drastically different from yours and don’t align well with what you want for your future, your relationship is probably not going to be very successful.
Studies have shown that there’s a correlation between partners’ conflicting goals and the well-being of their relationship. The higher the goal conflict, the lower the relationship’s well-being. This is especially the case when the existing goal conflict is directly or indirectly related to the other partner’s overall well-being.